Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has diplomatically commenced a meeting with Donald Trump in New York by offering the next president of the United States a flattering remark vis-à-vis the size of his bodily appendages.
Japan has an extraordinary appreciation for craniums that are small in magnitude and it is regarded as the highest sign of respect in Japanese culture to compliment a foreigner on the size of their head.
Abe kindly told President-elect Donald Trump that the endearing petite nature of his hands was only surpassed by the underdeveloped dimensions of his skull.
Trump responded to Abe by saying, “Sorry, I don’t speak Chinese.”
Trump’s advisors quickly informed the U.S. President-elect that “Shinzo Abe was from Japan” and he was “speaking in English with a Japanese accent”.
“The country with raw fish,” Trump’s advisors explained.
“I love raw fish,” Trump told Abe, “if you know what I mean?”
Abe had no idea what Trump meant.
The exchange lasted for around half-an-hour before Trump’s daughter Ivanka was introduced as a “10”.
“Pleasure to meet you, ten,” Abe said.
Trump went on to explain the number based system of ranking the opposite sex, which took up the remaining hour of the meeting.
“My wife and daughter Ivanka are both tens, your wife is probably somewhere around a 6.5,” Trump explained to Abe.
Abe agreed and told Trump, “Many kyabakura in Japan”.
Insiders say the meeting was a success with the “testosterone of the two leaders really connecting on a deep masculine level”.
“The two formed a strong bond through their unspoken understanding of man’s dominant position in society, which allows for the overall subordination of women,” said one insider who wishes to remain anonymous.