An English teacher in Chiba Prefecture this week has been hit with the news they will be teaching a returnee student who spent one year on exchange to America.

The inclusion of a returnee student is expected to destroy class dynamics and shatter the teacher’s ruse of being the sole possessor of all secrets foreign.

The Assistant Language Teacher (ALT) has raised concerns about being asked to explain basic grammar structures including dependent clauses or auxiliary verbs in such a high-pressure atmosphere.

“I have the policy, ‘If you don’t know, make it up as you go’ – how can I follow my own guidelines when I have a master apprentice staring me in the face,” the ALT said.

The man also fears he’ll be unable to use up to 95 per cent of the humorous material he’s developed from years of teaching English as a second language.

“I’m devastated – how am I supposed to crack all those juvenile English jokes without coming off as an absolute twat,” the ALT said.

The teacher will now have to scrap the majority of his English activities for fear of the returnee student seeing through them as nothing more than time fillers. Class preparation time may also have to be increased from zero to fifteen minutes in response to the invasion of his comfort zone.