Convenience store giants Family Mart and Circle-K Sankus (UNY) have announced they will merge to produce one huge FU to the people of Japan, according to NHK BS News.
“We’re excited about developing a FU culture where everyone entering our stores will be greeted with a nice big FU smile,” the president of FU said at the press conference.
“Our ultimate goal is for the majority of the population to be within screaming distance of a FU.”
FU will be celebrating the merger with the launch of three new products: the “FU burger”, the “FU donut”, and the “FU sando”.
FU has also announced a groundbreaking deal with the fashion company Calvin Klein to sell FU C.K. clothing products in stores.
“Our new business model is sure to give a nice big FU scare to all of our competitors.”
Seven-Eleven is planning its own new line of “Fresh and Friendly Seven-Eleven” products for the “FFS 7/11 Sale” to counter the rise of FU.
The FFS 7/11 Sale will include the new FFS extra-aged natto, FFS purple bean donuts and the FFS sweet potato ice cream.
FU heads say they are confident of the “merger’s success going forward” and urged other businesses in the industry to “get amongst that winning FU feeling”.