Japan’s meteorological agency (JMA) has published the Cherry Blossom Prediction Chart Honne Edition, which is forecasting the flowing of beer in the nation’s parks earlier than usual, with full party mode hitting Tokyo on March 28.

“Our latest chart reveals what people are really thinking when they see a cherry blossom forecast,” says JMA’s chief manager Sakeyori Biiru.

Most people have already started to plan in their minds which kind of beer they will be drinking for their first “cherry blossom viewing sesh”.

“Let’s stop beating around the bush here, if we’re gonna be honest with ourselves we’re all just waiting for the alcohol,” says Sakeyori.

“Personally, I’m going to launch my cherry blossom season with the classic Asahi Super Dry.”

The latest cherry blossom forecast has been warmly received amongst the population.

“With this new cherry blossom honne edition I don’t have to pretend anymore that I want to stare at flower petals for 7 hours in a park,” says 45-year-old salaryman Shigotoshi Sugidaro.

“I’m sick of going all tatemae on my wife telling her I’m going out after work to observe the beautiful pink seed-bearing parts of the prunus serrulata tree, otherwise known as the cherry blossom tree.”

“It’s time I speak a bit of honne and tell her I’d prefer to get smashed with my work colleagues, rather than wasting precious time with my family.”

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