"My Number: One each"

The My Number system is raising serious concerns in Japan that average citizens will be equated to foreigners.

Japanese nationals will effectively be forced into carrying My Number cards at all times, paralleling the Alien Registration Card (外国人登録) that foreigners must carry at all times.

Many people are worried that they will have to comply with laws only fit for foreign nationals, with many believing they “shouldn’t be treated like criminals”.

The government has enlisted an attractive actress, Aya Ueto, and an even cuter bunny rabbit to alleviate such fears.

“By using a kawaii rabbit and linking the name ‘My Number’ with buzz words such as “my boom” (マイブーム), “my pace” (マイペース), and “my darts” (マイダーツ) we can draw attention away from legitimate concerns of invasion of privacy and the possibility of leaked personal information,” one government official told reporters.

Abe Administration hardliners are proposing My Numbers be tattooed onto foreheads in the form of barcodes, visible only under florescent light – ensuring lower to middle income earners won’t rort the system but still allowing them to go to onsens owned by high income earners with offshore bank accounts.