PM Abe and several other LDP lawmakers severely beat threatening underdeveloped national

Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and several LDP lawmakers have exercised their right to collective self-defense by severely beating a small underdeveloped national sleeping on the streets of Shinjuku.

The underdeveloped national was reported to have made a threatening movement by rolling over and facing another direction.

“Defense Minister Gen Nakatani sensed some danger and we came to his aid by heavily laying into this guy as a collective group,” said PM Abe.

The Prime Minister and his fellow LDP lawmakers managed to escape unharmed and secured what little resources the man had left.