Japan’s Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe, has preempted China’s military parade by having his own military party organised via Facebook invite.

Re-enactment of chicken hawk guests
Re-enactment of chicken hawk guests

Guests were encouraged to wear fancy dress in the theme of ‘The Militarisation Of Japan’, but there were costume clashes a plenty with many attendants arriving as chicken hawks.

Party festivities involved bashing a piñata shaped as a pacifist and pin the Japanese flag on the island. There was also a treasure hunt event where party-goers searched for Chinese President Xi Jinping’s name amongst leaked Ashley Madison accounts.

There were some reports of Shinzo and his mates instigating a fight with neighbours but the Prime Minister claims it was necessary in keeping the peace. Younger guests were condemned for their selfish behaviour in refusing to participate in the brawl and were ejected from the party.

The evening wound down with guests harmonizing to the national anthem while sitting around a bonfire fuelled by old history books.

Shinzo posted that the event was a success and they “partied like it was 1939” – however, inside sources believe it only managed an approval rating of around 30 per cent.

There were also reports of suspicious late night arrivals but the Prime Minister vehemently denies the existence of any so-called comfort women.