The government plans to relocate Prime Minister Shinzo Abe to the Senkaku Islands in response to the findings of the national census.

Chinese surveillance ships near PM Abe

There was overwhelming support for the move nationwide with Okinawa posting the highest ratio of support per capita of around 99 per cent.

The Prime Minister will finally have a chance to lead by example – being equipped with a Sumitomo Type machine gun firing at 650 rounds per minute to protect the landmass singlehandedly.

The Keidanren, the Japanese business lobby, has released a report pushing for the government to purchase additional assault rifles, grenade launchers, and heavy mortars to assist Abe in securing the islands.

Experts are predicting the Prime Minister will be reluctant to engage with Chinese ships in nearby waters for fear of being personally endangered.

“The most likely outcome is the Prime Minister will fire some warning shots, get scared and then initiate conscription,” said one source close to the government.