HUB: The British Pub

A Shinjuku HUB has closed its doors today after a severe strain of yellow fever was discovered in the air conditioning system.

Two local women were struck down by the virus earlier in the week suffering from acute hangovers and memories full of regrets.

Government health officials say an overcrowding of Caucasian gaijin over the weekend is likely the prime cause of the outbreak.

“The disease first mutates inside the upper abdomen of the male gaijin who then becomes a yellow fever carrier,” says Professor Yoshimoto from Tokyo University.

Professor Yoshimoto says these carriers exhibit no physical symptoms and are often in a state of denial.

Local women, and in rare cases local men, can be easily susceptible to these carriers and officials have warned them to stay clear of all existing HUBs.