A Syrian family of four last week leisurely perused through a ‘country shopping’ catalog while nearby towns were being blasted with heavy fire from government forces and U.S. backed rebels. The family came across Germany on page seven and instantly knew it was the country they wanted to leech off.

“My husband and I really liked Germany because we thought that’s the place where we can freeload and where our children could really become a burden on their economy,” the Syrian father, Mohammed, said.

As a Muslim family they have little aspirations for work or a chance at prosperity, leading many outsiders to question their motives for a better life. Others have raised concerns that families like Mohammeds shouldn’t move to countries that offer more hope, they should move to nearby countries where they can do Muslim things together and be absorbed in a region that caters to their lack of a need for future prospects.

“We will be forever indebted to America and the West for the invasion of Iraq that created the present brutal conflict. We thank the West for aiding extremist rebels that are attacking our government – clearly in the pursuit of humanitarianism – and affording us the luxury of selecting our country of first choice,” Mohammed said.

The Syrian family of four has now set off to Germany by foot, leaving behind their home, their memories, most of their life-long belongings, their friends, and their family. But many Western observers have reacted angrily that once again these people are sponging off the system, getting free exercise, while they’re forced to pay outrageously high gym membership fees.