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A man leaving his apartment in Osaka City today felt an abrupt impulse to empty his bladder just after fastening his second shoelace.

“I didn’t have so much as a single thought about draining the main vein before putting on my shoes,” said Rob Grant.

By the time Grant had reached for the front door handle he was already contemplating whether or not he needed to drop the kids off at the pool.

“I think I may need to drop the kids off at the pool,” said Grant.

Grant crawled back into his apartment on all fours without removing his shoes, knowing he had outfoxed centuries of Japanese cultural history.

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