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A white middle-aged man has been infiltrating and blowing minds in Japan with his palpable lack of English speaking skills.

“My mind received a fair old rodgering the moment I was told he couldn’t speak fluent English,” said Yamaguchi Prefecture resident Shunsuke Yamazaki.

“It was as if a rod-shaped appendage was being poked right into my left brain’s prefrontal cortex.”

Yamazaki remained defiant despite his long held idea of pale skin being closely associated with a high level of English proficiency being shaken to the core.

“My brain has been so severely harassed I need to watch at least five minutes of a comedy program featuring Bob Sapp,” said Yamazaki.

“It’s just unfathomable that a face like that could speak so little English.”

Image: Kremlin