Four commuters were politely murdered yesterday during a rush for seats after an empty train pulled into a heavily crowded station.

A 46-year-old man had no choice but to respectfully end the life of a fellow salaryman with both men equally committed to the same seat on the third carriage.

“We both looked at the seat before looking each other in the eye – I only had a split second to considerately pierce my umbrella through his upper left torso,” said Ryusuke Hirota.

Fellow passengers were admirably indifferent to the murders giving a 5-degree bow as they passed by or stepped over the bodies on their way to the best standing positions remaining.

“The cold-blooded murder of that man was absolutely horrendous, but I think it was the right thing to do – in these situations it’s the only way to avoid some sort of verbal confrontation,” said one witness.

Image: Suzuoki


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