Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has spent half the weekend wondering if he’ll ever meet a leader of a Baltic nation.

“What is this? Some kind of exotic Baltic tradition where men are wined and dined before being presented to the head of the nation?” asked Abe.

“I didn’t even get a chance to meet the president of Estonia, just some woman trying to project some sort of air of importance.”

Abe says these white women have “wonderfully small heads” but he would “really prefer to see some heads of nations”.

“I thought I was supposed to be seeing someone wielding a bit of power, not some woman named Dalia Grybauskaite,” said Abe.

“And while I’m at it Dalia, I’ll have some potato-based dumplings thanks.”

Image: AP


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