A heroic fight to thwart an attack on Lordran’s Fortress from a legion of monsters faced serious peril on the Keihin-Tohoku Line this morning from an elderly woman projecting a keen desire to sit down.

The intense battle, which was gallantly fought out on the 8:39 a.m. outbound from Ueno Station, pushed all parties involved to their limits.

“It was an extremely gruelling ride having to slay an army of beasts wielding little more than a 1.5 meter long sword, with some ageing commuter standing right in front of me looking all distressed-like,” said 19-year-old college student Shinji Watanabe.

“In the end it was just way too much to handle,” said Watanabe.

After a punishing 15-minutes of full-frontal combat Watanabe relinquished, paused the game, and pretended to sleep for the remainder of the train ride.


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