Prime Minister Yoshihide Suga on Thursday effectively declared a Gaijin State of Emergency in Tokyo, Kanagawa, Saitama and Chiba prefectures to curb the spread of COVID-19 by ordering restaurants to close a few hours earlier than usual.

“This is a frickin’ emergency alright – you’re telling me I can’t get a 400-yen pizza or 100-yen glass of wine after 8pm?” said 5-years-a-gaijin Peter Wright.

The government suggested they will commence another Go To campaign after this second State of Emergency ends on February 7.

“We will launch the Go To Hospital campaign for people living in the Kansai region from mid-February,” Suga told reporters.

The government also announced it will start vaccinations in late February.

“We will prioritise men first, then cats, then women,” said Suga.

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