The value of all gaijin crashed today after Americans painted the town red on the overnight meat markets – including the Roppongi HUB, Roppongi clubs, Roppongi streets, and later Shibuya HUB.

The rowdy tourists showed no respect for local customs speaking really really loudly and forcing themselves on unsuspecting non-gaijin hunters.

“Gaijin reputations fell more than 11% after tourists destroyed local meat markets last night,” reported gaijin spokesman Jake Adelstein.

“Unfortunately, all foreigners will suffer as a result of a few bad American apples.”

Experts say this latest US rout will take hundreds of exceptional chopstick performances to repair the damage.

The tourists will be revisiting HUB most nights over the next ten days and should have purchased a HUB point card.


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