Ousted Nissan CEO Carlos Ghosn has fled to Lebanon this week while on bail for charges of misconduct, avoiding suspicion from Japanese authorities by wrapping himself in a plethora of plastic layers.

“I am now in Lebanon and will no longer be held hostage by a rigged Japanese justice system where guilt is presumed, discrimination is rampant, and basic human rights are denied,” Ghosn, 65, told reporters at Beirut-Rafic Hariri International Airport while still covered in cellophane.

Japanese officials thought the Ghosn package was just a single cookie or single piece of candy wrapped in around ten layers of plastic.

“It appeared to be a very normal Japanese product,” said Tokyo Police Chief Motta Inai.

“We can’t believe he’s Ghosn.”

In other news, Mitsubishi executives and Japanese ministry officials are still waiting to be arrested for falsifying data on shipments and using retired and dead people to meet disabled quotas.

Former TEPCO executives who directly oversaw the meltdown of the three Fukushima Daiichi nuclear reactors are also waiting to be arrested for received data that anticipated a tsunami of more than 10 metres in height that could cause a power outage and other serious consequences.

[日本語]