Greg tells friends to "Go on without me!"

A man in his mid-thirties has told friends to “go on without me”, after becoming dehydrated and undernourished while waiting in a visa queue.

Greg Wood’s friends refused to leave his side and covered him with a small grey blanket to keep him sheltered from the air conditioners.

“I’m cold, hold me – is it really summer?” a delusional Greg said to his friends.

Edward, Greg’s long-term visa queue friend since 2010, bravely left the line to desperately try and acquire some provisions.

Greg asked Edward if he was serious after returning with a single bottle of Calpis.

“Who gives a yoghurt flavoured beverage to a severely parched friend?” said Greg.

“And this one is lightly carbonated.”

“I risked my spot in the line for you and this is the thanks I get!?” Edward snapped.

“We’re not even real friends anyway we only talk to each other because we’re both white,” said Greg with the remaining energy he could muster.

Sally eventually calmed the two down by telling them English teaching really is a noble profession.

“I’m sorry, I thought the Calpis was Pocari Sweat,” said an emotionally drained Edward.

“I forgive you – they are both cloudy white liquids with blue labels,” said Greg.

“That’s it, we’re not leaving a good man behind!” Edward said at the maximum noise level for an immigration bureau, which is slightly above whispering, and lifted Greg onto his back.

Greg remained on Edward’s back for about a minute before they realized the line still wasn’t moving.

The trio eventually made it to the counter but Greg was politely requested to come back again because one of his employer-signed documents lacked a dot above the letter ‘i’.


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