A witness to the Charleston mass killing has revealed God sent her to Earth to help authorities identify the suspected killer but was too busy to stop the actual massacre itself inside a church.

Eyewitness sends message through God.
Eyewitness sends message through God.

The witness defended Gods decision saying his hands were full with other universal errands and forgot to keep an eye “on his own crib”.

“Look, mankind should be grateful that He sent me at all with all the other things He has on his plate like restricting children living in poverty on Earth to just one billion,” said the witness sent from God.

God also passed on the message that although it may seem counter-intuitive, evil acts inside a place of worship are one of the most difficult occurrences to predict.

“It’s like how most car accidents happen closest to people’s homes, I just relaxed, then tried to make up for it by sending a reliable witness,” God regretfully announced through the messenger.

God is now keeping a planner diary to be better organised for future disasters, divine sources revealed.


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