God has shunned a worshiper’s request at Meiji Shrine in Tokyo over the weekend after the woman failed to follow the steadfast Shinto praying rules of ‘bow once, clap twice, bow again, and then pray’.
The woman clapped three times before making her request, spooking God with the third clap after already successfully attaining His attention with the first two.
“These rules were made for a reason – I require precisely two hand claps for the garnering of my attention, a third hand clap is clearly overkill,” God said.
“I simply refuse to grant wishes of any kind after a triple clap.”
The extra handclap will cost the woman’s family good health and long life.
A prayer to God from the woman’s husband, however, was swiftly granted after he executed the mandatory double clap in proper order: that Japan would defeat South Africa in a thriller in their opening World Cup Rugby match.