Japan’s education minister, Hakuban Shimomura, has sent a letter to all 86 national universities directing them to abolish the now defunct fields of humanities and social sciences.

The minister has also strongly recommended transforming undergraduate students into androids to completely eliminate the threat of creative thinking.

“If we can robotize our students we can construct maximum productivity and minimal thinking – we can also save on paying out future pensions,” the minister announced.

The new army of student peppers, nicknamed “the stupids”, will be programmed to automatically have a strong aversion to student demonstrations, but have a love of tiny islands. The robots will also be developed with a disposition against small and unorganized opposition parties.

The ministry’s directive will also effect a reduction in history courses ensuring most students can avoid unnecessary truths.

“Those who don’t forget their history, are doomed to learn from it,” the minister announced.

The Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology projects the “stupids” will be ready by 2030, painted in the colors of the rising sun and programmed to sing the national anthem at least three times a day.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here