A piece of extremely practical information has been discovered encrypted within the transcript of Emperor Akihito’s unprecedented speech enlightening the people that “it’s goddam hot”.

The emperor is prohibited from talking about political matters, the imperial process, and the weather since 1994 because he shits everyone with his incessant ‘atsuine’s and ‘samuine’s.

This crucial piece of practical information bestowed on the people will give people a chance to comprehend that it really is hot.

“People will now realize it’s hot because someone has told them,” said one expert.

Many citizens who were leaving their homes in boots and jackets have expressed their gratitude for the hidden message.


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