Jealous Gaijin has quietly celebrated the government’s announcement that Japan will take no extra Syrian refugees.

The decision means Jealous Gaijin will not have to deal with other foreigners destroying Japan’s culture that he himself has left unspoiled.

“I’m standing up for Japan’s unique culture and homogenous society, we can’t be letting foreigners in breaking the delicate Foreign Presence Equilibrium,” the man said under his breath.

The Foreign Presence Equilibrium (FPE) was established immediately after Jealous Gaijin set foot in Japan.

Jealous Gaijin’s heart has literally turned white with a red central circular marking, giving him special privileges as a resident gaijin in Japan.

Witnesses later spotted Jealous Gaijin in the evening drinking European beers with Caucasian friends at the local British pub.


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