Celebrations in Japan have gone completely off the rails after the national soccer team made it through to the knockout phase of the World Cup with many salarymen reportedly arriving to work between 1 and 60 seconds late.
“It’s just insane, I saw Shintaro stumble into work a full 27 seconds after 9 a.m.” said one office worker.
Employees nationwide had their pay docked for their complete disregard for the man.
“I’m so sorry for having fun on a week night, moushi wake gozaimasen,” Shintaro said to his boss as he shamefully entered the office at 9:00:27 a.m.
Despite losing to a bunch of white people who don’t speak English Japan progressed as they were deemed to be nicer than the Senegal players.
“They may appear to be nice but they were constantly peeking up at the scoreboard and harassing the time,” said one Abunai fan.