Abe Reshuffles Cabinet, Still Stinks Like Same Old Festering Shit

Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has attempted to shore up the functionality of his medicine cabinet by shifting around the same old members to different...

Olympics Minister Confesses To “Hating Sport”

Yoshitaka Sakurada, minister for both cyber security and the 2020 Tokyo Olympics and Paralympics, who recently admitted that he can’t use computers...

Kono Asks To Be Referred To By Kanji Meaning: “Fat Son Of The Wild...

The Japanese foreign minister Taro Kono has asked the foreign media to refer to Japanese people by the true meaning of their...

Labor Minister Says High Heels Necessary To Cook Dinner

Japan’s health and labour minister Takumi Nemoto has defended kitchens that require women to wear high heels to cook, arguing it is “necessary...

Politicians Wear Bento Boxes To Indicate When They’re “Hangry”

Japanese lawmakers are putting bento boxes on their heads to show when they are “hangry” in order to foster better relations among...

Komuro’s Mother Demanded Imperial Family Solve Gross Debt Problems

The mother of Princess Mako’s fiancée demanded the imperial family solve their financial problems before the postponement of her son's marriage, a source close...

‘Premium Friday’ Boosts Economy With Expenditures Under The Influence

The Japanese government has launched the inaugural ‘Premium Friday’ campaign this week – an initiative for workers to begin their weekends early so they can...

Dying Mayor At Sumo Tournament Taken To The Kitchen For CPR

Women who rushed to the aid of a mayor who collapsed during a sumo event on Wednesday loaded the dying man onto a stretcher...

Abe Forced To Stay In Youth Hostel After “Surprise” Visit To Pearl Harbor

The Prime Minister of Japan has been forced to stay at a cheap Hawaiian hostel after making a “surprise” visit to Pearl Harbor, according...

Fault Line In NHK President’s Mental Reasoning Poses No Real Threat

A fault line discovered in NHK President Katsuto Momii’s mental reasoning just under the surface of his brain poses no real threat, according to...

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