Researchers from the University of Tokyo have released a report finding 89 per cent of bald foreigners look “pretty much indistinguishable” from US actor Bruce Willis.

Ten thousand people were surveyed for the study with most people relating follicly challenged gaijin with the hit movie series Die Hard.

“As far as we’re concerned if you are white and bald you are Bruce Willis,” says University of Tokyo professor Tokuto Suzuki.

The study found that balding gaijin are often called upon to assist in emergency situations such as terror threats or armed robberies.

The Christmas season can be especially daunting for younger balding foreigners with the original Die Hard being broadcast annually in the festive season.

“There’s nothing that encapsulates the spirit of Christmas more than Bruce Willis and a box of KFC chicken,” says 18-year-old local Yumi Tanaka.

“Yippee ki-yay, motherf***er!”

Answers from the remaining 11 per cent surveyed were evenly split between Vin Diesel and Charlie Brown.

[日本語版]

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