Kim Jong-un has expressed concern over his hair's lack of straightness.

Kim Jong-un has executed a senior North Korean military leader after being informed that Japanese sanctions will include all men’s cosmetic Gatsby products.

Japan and South Korea announced the fresh sanctions against North Korea following their latest “satellite rocket” launch, which experts say was a missile.

“I can’t get that sleek straight look without the quality that only Japanese hair wax provides,” Kim Jong-un reportedly told close associates.

Japanese officials are confident this new round of economic sanctions will only affect the North Korean elite and allow common citizens to escape further suffering.

“There’s no taming this mane with substandard North Korean products,” said Jong-un.

There have been some reports that Jong-un may have been in contact with diet member Antonio Inoki since the sanction announcements, according to sources inside North Korea.


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