Citizens from every prefecture in Japan this evening have simultaneously heard the song “Last Christmas” by Wham!
“Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away,” Wham! informed millions of Japanese people at the same time.
Most people had no idea what Wham! was on about, however everyone who heard the song immediately fell into a deep sense of despair.
“I don’t know what this dude is singing about but I suddenly feel like topping myself,” said salaryman Shigeru Matsumoto.