The latest polls from all mainstream media outlets has found that America’s choice of president, Donald Trump, is a very welcoming surprise for the majority of citizens around the globe.
The overwhelming majority of respondents said they were satisfied with the results of the US election with 97 per cent of people not answering their phones due to the onset of clinical depression.
Media pundits and experts are confident these scientific polls reflect the general calming mood sweeping across all nations.
“You can just feel the serenity in the air,” said one media expert.
“Sure, there are people on the streets burning cars and families huddling together on their lounge room floors telling their children its only four years, but we can’t be producing quality click bait at the same time as carrying out actual investigative journalism.”