Mark Zuckerberg arrived in Tokyo this morning after a significant number of Facebook users in Japan had yet to alert Facebook of their welfare after a massive typhoon hit late last night.

“I’m just worried sick they haven’t informed the proper Facebook authorities,” Zuckerberg told reporters.

“We here at Facebook need to know this information so we are able to comfortably sleep at night.”

Zuckerberg was told on at least five occasions today that he had excellent chopstick skills despite being married to a woman with Chinese parents and using chopsticks almost on a daily basis back in the U.S.A.

“What the hell is wrong with these people, of course I can use chopsticks – I even started using virtual chopsticks back in 2013.”

As of 5:20 p.m. this afternoon Zuckerberg had managed to register another three people as safe from the typhoon on Facebook, including Jake Adelstein who initially criticized the important safety procedure.

“Now we have Adelstein on board we should get at least another 1,000 more gaijin to follow suit,” said Zuckerberg.

Zuckerberg had trouble sleeping today during a planned afternoon nap but sources say it was more than likely because of the grain pillow.



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