North Korean state news has reported that the second missile launched today successfully took out 10 square meters of the Sea of Japan.

“Today, the Sea of Japan has felt the full wrath of North Korean military might,” said the state newsreader wearing pink traditional attire.

The first missile was also an unreserved success loosening up the launcher for the second missile.

“The successful first missile loosener was a demonstration of our cutting edge military technology and a warning to the other coastal regions around our borders,” said the newsreader.

The soldier responsible for the launch of the first missile has been reported missing, according to inside sources.

The man was last seen being transported in handcuffs and wearing a black blindfold.


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