Semi-naked and fully naked onsen goers held a press conference at the Foreign Correspondents’ Club of Japan on Thursday to announce that they are not trying to look, “honestly”.
“It’s really not in our best interests to take a peek,” said 35-year-old Nobumi Jikai.
“We felt it was necessary to go on the record to tell you that it’s all in your mind,” Jikai said while wearing a towel on his head.
When asked why they would only provide very tiny towels before entering the bathing area Jikai responded, “You do the math”.
American journalist Jake Adelstein questioned the onseners on why he “wasn’t allowed to wear swimming trunks at public bath houses”, who responded with “tradition”.
At press time, the nation was questioning whether Adelstein was trying to hide some kind of nefarious tattoo.