Events reported as news in Japan a few days ago have become headlines for a second time after that same news event was reported in foreign lands.

“We will lead tonight’s broadcast with breaking news,” anchorman Yoshi Endo announced on Nippon Television’s N-Star nightly news program on Friday night.

“Something that happened in Japan has been reported overseas.”

Endo informed viewers that the news of a railway company apologizing for a train departing 20 seconds too early has been written about in overseas media organizations, indicating how the most inconsequential mundane shit transpiring in Japan is of upmost importance to people around the world.

“Japan is an amazing country where things that occur sometimes get reported in gaikoku,” said Endo.

“We have been reconfirmed as the most significant nation on earth after a railway company’s heartfelt apology due to a train departing 20 seconds too early was written about in the New York Times and BBC.”

Endo also reported that the train driver responsible for the 20-second early departure has regained his family’s honor after carrying out a traditional seppuku ritual.


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