The official noise pollution season began Thursday in Japan, with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe seeking to maintain his dictatorship to implement constitutional revision.

The noise pollution will come in the form of heated debates between politicians and themselves standing on a van.

“This season is necessary for constituents to have an in-depth understanding of the sound a man makes while speaking through three microphones held together with duct tape,” says YNN News commentator Uru Saimata.

This sound is enriched by white gloves.

“If they’re not wearing white gloves, they can say goodbye to my vote,” says local housewife Miyuki Takasoba.

The ruling Liberal Democratic Party, headed by Abe, hopes to attack at least 40 million eardrums this season.

Image: AFP