Prime Minister Shinzo Abe could hardly contain his excitement as something bearing a close resemblance to war broke out in an upper house committee hearing today.

The Prime Minister shrewdly concealed his glee while watching from the sidelines as the scuffle intensified.

“Clearly my job is to facilitate fights, I’m not one for getting my hands dirty,” PM Abe told reporters.

Opposition lawmakers used highly sophisticated tactics to prevent the passing of the contentious defense bills but the “hand-in-face” strategy hampering chairperson Masahiro Sato’s reading capabilities ultimately failed.

The equally flaccid tool of democracy – whereby 60 per cent of the population is opposed to amendments to the pacifist constitution – has fallen flat.

Large protests outside the diet served to heighten Prime Minister Abe’s arousal levels who has had to wait patiently for security bills to pass that will allow the Japanese military to engage in foreign conflicts.

“If this is a taste of the violence to come then we have a lot to look forward to,” PM Abe said.

The Prime Minister is eagerly anticipating violent conflicts involving the Japanese military in the coming months.

Image: Reuters


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