A political candidate campaigning outside a Tokyo station today has wavered in intensity as a foreigner walked closer to the station front.

“Please vote for me! (Yorishiku onegai itashimasu!) I will make the economy good and build more childcare facilities! Please vote for me, please, please, please,” Hiroshi Izumi of the RDP shouted out at his constituents before seeing the foreigner coming in his direction.

“Oh shit, here comes one now,” thought Izumi.

Izumi initially hoped the gaijin wouldn’t come any closer but had to resort to plan B as plan A was quickly falling apart before his very eyes.

“I barely had time to formulate a new policy so I just toned down my fervour as it came closer and closer,” said Izumi.

The appeasement policy was largely successful with the gaijin walking past without so much as a murmur of English.

“To avoid any sort of conflict, I decided to hold out a token pamphlet – absolute waste of paper.”


  1. Experienced much the same Tuesday. Group of campaigners trying like mad to hand out pamphlets to the natives ahead of me, got dead silent and eyes averted as I walked by.

    It was kinda nice, actually. I hate campaigners back home, so it’s nice that I won’t have to deal with it here.


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