Pure Silver Cup For Centenarians Downgraded To Silver-Plated Bullet

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare plans to replace pure silver cups awarded to centenarians with silver-plated bullets to save on costs.

The government believes the new policy will be economically responsible by bestowing cheaper congratulatory gifts while having the added benefit of quietly suggesting to elderly citizens, “Is it really worth going on?”

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare is hopeful recipients will be tempted to use their awards creating a two-fold effect of cost savings and providing a solution to the aging population.

The government has also set up a panel to investigate the benefits of 80th birthday awards to streamline the process with suggestions ranging from mercury laced tablets to merino wool ropes perfect for tying nooses.


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