A new study has found that foreigner craniums grow on average 0.2 centimeters for every year they live in Japan.

“Our study simulated 20 years of living in Japan by bombarding gaijin with compliments about their Japanese and chopstick skills,” said the leading researcher.

“We found that about 30 hours of constant praise equates to about 1 month of living in Japan.”

There was no measurable change in head sizes in the control group living normal lives in America.

On the other hand, head sizes dramatically increased for those living in the laboratory using chopsticks while scientists told them how skilful they were.

“I’ve been living in Tokyo for 15 years and I didn’t even realize my head had expanded three whole centimeters,” said one foreigner.

This groundbreaking research has confirmed commonly held views that the circumference of a gaijin skull will increase proportionally with time spent living in Japan.

Image: UAlberta RO Communications


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