Japan Cancels Tokyo 2020 Olympics

Japan has cancelled the Tokyo 2020 Olympics due to an unprecedented lack of toilet paper. The International Olympic Committee reportedly...

Democracy Protests Spread To Japan After Kumamon Cops Olympic Committee Discrimination

Democracy protests in Asia have spread to Japan on Sunday with thousands of mascots marching through the streets of Tokyo.

Tokyo 2020 Olympics To Coincide With ‘Atsui Ne’ Yearly Peak

Tokyo Olympic organizers have today realized the 2020 Olympic Games will coincide with the nation’s “Atsui ne” yearly peak.

2020 Olympic Medals To Be Awarded With Small Plastic Bags

Tokyo 2020 medals made from recycled consumer devices will be presented to winning athletes with small plastic bags. The environmental...

Japan To Wrap Olympic Tickets In Plastic

The Japanese government said Monday it will send out Tokyo Olympic tickets in wraps of plastic to make them more aesthetically pleasing.

Tokyo Olympic CEO Reminds Visitors “Cannabis Is A Drug” While Smoking A Cigarette

The chief executive of next year's Tokyo Olympics has reminded potential visitors to Japan that “weed is a drug” while smoking a dart.

Japan Begins Unwrapping Tomatoes For ‘Tokyo Eco Olympics’

Japan has commenced unwrapping individually packaged tomatoes in preparation for the promotion of itself being “very eco”. “It’s going to...

Olympics Minister Cancer Scare “Threatens Gold Medals”

Japan's Olympics minister has expressed concern over a cancer diagnosis “threatening to diminish the success of the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo”.

Japan To Ban Practice Golf Swings In Public Ahead Of Tokyo Olympics

Japan has announced plans to prohibit practice golf swings in public across the nation by the end of August in the lead up...

Tokyo 2020 Olympic Female Volunteers To Receive “Nation’s First” Equal Pay

For the first time in Japan’s history, females voluntarily working at the Tokyo 2020 Olympics will receive equal pay. “This is a great moment in...