Japan’s number one food holding model has announced his retirement from the Fuji TV Network and will continue his trade as a free agent.

Possessing Japan’s steadiest paws and incredible mitt dexterity the chopstick grasp master will be keenly sought after by other TV networks.

Known for his noodle holding poise and hamburger splitting skills, facilitating maximum juice excretion, he is regarded as one of Japan’s most eligible bachelors – paralleling the widespread cult-like attraction of female newscasters.

Leaving high school early to fulfill a boyhood dream of professional chopstick clutching the male hand model is now regularly stopped in the streets by adoring fans admiring the exquisite shape of his digits.

“My father and my father’s father were chopstick grasp masters and they’ve taught me the intricate art of holding things sturdy – I just love clutching objects with my chopsticks,” said the food-clenching model.

The Fuji Network said their chief chopstick model will be sorely missed from high rating TV programs such as SMAP×SMAP but the announcement came as no surprise with rumours now confirmed of hand appearance offers from the TBS Network’s Saturday Night Chubaw and NHK’s Today’s Meal (Kyou no ryori).


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